How do you catch a squirrel?

sit on a branch and act like a NUTHow do you catch a squirrel?
Hide behind a tree and act like a nut!How do you catch a squirrel?
The answer is ';hide in a tree and act like a nut';.





It's the same as ';how do you catch a rabbit?';.


Hide in a field and make a noise like a lettuce!





But I can't make a noise like a lettuce.


Well that explains why you've never caught one then...doesn't it?
Ride your bike into one and have a trophy on your wheel or stuck in the spokes (like a ligth... but cooler)
With one of the following


%26gt;a f**king large tranquiliser dart


%26gt;ever trusty shotgun


%26gt;A larger - than - normal rat trap


%26gt;a very hungry fat man


%26gt;some nuts


or my personal favourite


%26gt;14lb of semtex explosive
It will be impossible to catch a wild squirrel without using a net or some kind of trap - they are extremely fast, agile, alert and watchful - they can also bite very hard. My cats gave up trying long ago.





The best way would be to befriend a regular visitor - feed with skinned peanuts and gradually gain its trust - it will eventually take a nut from your hand and finally wll sit on your arm to feed.


You have to be patient, as this will take several weeks. but it is possible, if you have the time. We have a squirrel who is so friendly, she actually swings on the door handle to tell us she is ready for her breakfast, then runs around our feet waiting for the nuts to be put down. Squirrels are supposed to be pests, but we get a lot of pleasure from ours, and they cause no harm or damage whatsoever.
Hold out your nuts...
ummm...';heeereeee kitty kitty kittty kittty.';